This is my experience; it varies for each individual. Like with anything you undertake, you get out of it, what you put into it. You must be willing to look at yourself, and trust you are where you are supposed to be. Know the PURPOSE or reason you chose the journey…then rinse and repeat if things get hard. Be honest and look at what your expectations are, meaning, are you putting stipulations on how things should look, or go? Let me help you with that, let that go… 

Now, take a deep breath, and prepare to meet…YOU! 

My journey was different than what I had anticipated. Not that I knew what to expect. That’s part of the issue for me…releasing control and going with the unknown. Let someone else lead the dance? Why when I know the moves I want to make LOL. 

My official set sail had to be postponed a day. That was disappointing for me at the time, but stiff upper lip and all of that. That should have let me know that my time probably wouldn’t go according to my plans. Yes, I’m a planner. Again, going with someone else’s flow was not my strong suit, especially if I didn’t know where they were leading me. But I learned to adapt. It was to adapt or be constantly frustrated. I may not always ‘go with the flow’, but what I know is not to be frustrated by what I have no control over.

That’s when I become more adept, at adapting. I have to temper that though, so I don’t go to the opposite extreme, and expect NOTHING from you. Kinda the kiss of death for me. So yes, I was growing. God knew the exact experience that I needed for me to grow and expand past my current boundaries. 

I ask a LOT of questions. I always have. “I can’t answer that” is a perfectly acceptable response for me. Silence, or I won’t answer, is a different thing altogether. I’ve been told that’s called ‘ghosting‘. Whatever it is, it doesn’t sit well with me. But, I digress…

I put a lot of pressure on myself to ‘do things the right way’. In order to do that, I need you to tell me what you are looking for. Yes, you can see how that could get sticky for me. YIKES, wait a minute, that word ‘need’ just jumped out. In this instance, it’s a call for me to look more closely at myself… But again, I digress…

I didn’t know what I wanted. I confess I wanted to just walk away on multiple occasions. “Why won’t they tell me what to do?”, I’d rant to myself. Ahhh that’s just it, they weren’t there to tell me what to do. They were there to hold up bumper rails, to keep me from going off the deep end or over the side of the cliff. Finding my way, in the sea of obstacles, illusions, joys and pain, only strengthened me. It helped me grow and gave me a sense of ME, unlike any I would have experienced if they had ‘told me what to do’.

You think there was some transference or projecting going on for me? You bet your sweet bottom there was. Whew, every individual I had unresolved issues with (including myself) showed up…and wore their faces.

When I realized that this was MY experience, that it was about ME and no one else, I stopped looking outside for validation. No one could validate who I was, or what I was supposed to be doing. I held the reins for my life. Was the journey perfect? Not at all. But it was imperfectly perfect for me. I learned a tremendous amount about letting go, about trusting myself. 

I never intended to release music into the world. This was a process for me to get those sounds that were stuck in my head…OUT. In the process though, I found that I’m a voice worth sharing…not about singing but taking my space in this world. I belong. I deserve to be heard… and seen if I so choose. 

It wasn’t until after I’d recorded, had a major meltdown, and was comforted by God, that I knew I was to actually release the songs into the world. Not just that, but I heard that Ancestors Of Mine was to be released on Juneteenth (2023). That meant I had a LOT of work to do, in a short amount of time. I recorded on May 16th and 17th and received the final masters on May 26th. 

The date I heard for Catch Me If You Can was August 08 (2023). Someone later told me that was the Lions Portal… I still don’t fully know what that means.

I’m not one to try and make something look perfect and easy…just for the sake of it. I believe that as with anything, any medium you are using to grow and improve or expand yourself, there is going to be friction. There are hard times, there are times you fall, that you want to give up…BUT that is when the true strength of who you are, and what you are made of, shines through. 

Myles Monroe said (and I’m paraphrasing), ‘If you don’t know the purpose of a thing, abuse is inevitable‘. What is the reason the thing exists? I wouldn’t expect my refrigerator to heat food. A ludicrous example, I know. But I had to remember the purpose; the reason I chose this journey…and continue to move forward when times were hard. Don’t look right or left, don’t expect the answers to come from those around me, but allow the healing to flow from the inside out. 

I make a point of pausing to see why I’m REALLY doing the things I’m doing. If they don’t align, or are to try and make someone else do something… I’m honest with myself and look deeper.

The guys (Brothers Koren) always say (and I’m paraphrasing) ‘when you gather experiences, you become more experienced‘… 

This journey took me through a LOT of experiences… from recording myself and posting it during the Shift course, to recording and posting in the Playground…and beyond. I’ve come a long way baby… 

Here is a peek at my earliest, “Experience Gathering”

There were so many more ‘experiences’ I could document, but you get the picture. I must admit, though I doubted it for a long time…It really does get easier, the more you gather experiences.